Friends

this is a poem i wrote to them friends who i called friends, thought we were more like family as in my darkest hours the friends showed their true colors and i had to realize that keeping them around wasn't worth it...so long to them friends
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Ahem...
We were friends
What the fuck happen to us?
Enemies stay enemies but friends......they change!
See...I left my friends when they left me
When it came to an end I had to realize what was worth
Had to put the bullshit aside to make room for the real shit
"Friends come and go but family is forever"
They took it out of context, forgot I always saw them as family
But now I've been gone for so long
It no longer matter to what we were
Only that they weren't there when it mattered
Saw my worth so your words didn't matter
Tried to apologize but it's too late...
Had to say my goodbyes and fuck you's
Walked away with my mouth shut had nothing to say
Cause what's there to say?
Nothing! Nothing! You aint saying NOTHING!
Claiming I was just talkin shit
Shit...you must be crazy
Try layin in ICU with needles down your neck expectin your "friends" to come through...
Who? You? Nah...you weren't there
During my darkest times my family stood there...
Not you...so who I thought that had my back weren't there
so what's here? Jus me and my family
And nowhere ya' were found
Not mad, jus their true colors bled through and saw them for who they are
I'm way above them like a star
Never lookin back I've gone too far
They think it's over cars, nah...it's way beyond that
Yeah...that lit the fuse, but it fuse into something we can't refuse
At the end we all lose, but I've taken most of the abuse...
Not amuse, no more fighting with you...
So I had to walk away towards my own views...
But we were friendsWhat the fuck happen to us?
Shit...
...
....
...
Life happened...

Redefining Hmong men in society

This is me performing at the "Redefining Hmong men in society" event in St. Paul, MN earlier this year. It was my first time performing and a great experience. That night had a great amount of other spoken word/rappers/poets artist giving a little word to everyone in the room. That night I read "Drink-up" (a poem I wrote about people that are addicted to the night life/clubs every), "I miss her..." (a love poem to my favorite season SUMMER) and "OURSELVES" (a poem of my reflection on the current state of the Hmong community). I will post some of these older poems as the weeks progress. I would just like to share this picture as a token of my growth through this world of spoken word. I have always been writing as a kid, but never took it serious until I was encouraged by friends to try it out. I am always up for an performance and willing to listen to others as well because I love to see how other spoken words/poets artist do it so I can learn from them.
So I wanna say Thanks again to TouSaiko Lee for giving me an invite and to future invites.

My Message

this is a spoken word piece that is to the younger hmong generation, but can really be towards anyone hmong or not. I read this particualr piece at the culture shows at St. Cloud State of Minnesota and University of Minesota: Duluth. Thanks for the invites and here's the poem "my message"
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To my young Hmong women…
You are much more then your hips and thighs
Speak truth through your lips and eyes
Shake pass the pain and lies
Open your heart and realize, when we men bring you down
That only you can stand up and never back down
I’m telling you this from the other side
Cause you are my mother, sisters, aunts, and nieces
Don’t let those short skirts and skin be your voice
God gave you a tongue so preach until you’re heard
Sing your song, because only you can deliver the melody
Hum your harmony, no matter what your dreams are, let them be forever
Don’t let one man make you leave us
Those stories you hear…are stories, there are still good in some of us
You are Queens; don’t let any fool be your King
When time gets hard don’t forget those who were with you from the start
And those who broke your heart, don’t let them be your light
When it feels like only darkness, know that even the smallest light still shines bright
Many times I have heard your stories
From broken dreams alongside the typical theme
I try to understand the heartache that passes through the soul
But only could hear your words…so here I write to your soul

To my young Hmong women
You are so much more…
Don’t let any man tell you you’re not beautiful
You are the stars that shine through the darken skies
There will be times when others leave you dry
Don’t cry, always believe you can fly
Because whatever they say, it’s your judgment that will lead the way
You are the carrier of our culture, the mother of our seeds
When we men fell, you were the ones who picked us back up
Your strength is powerful beyond measure
Let marriage be for later, for you have not yet explore the world
These are the times when younger yous need you the most
You were meant to play with the boys; they just never expect you to fly
What our parents said was the past and your present is your presence

To my young Hmong men
We are much more then our guns and knives
Be ourselves and never wear a disguise…
For these are times when we are needed most
Through our words of song we must play
Understand that we are not the same, but so alike in many ways
We must protect those who we love
When war broke out, our fathers stood tall and led the way
As in these days we must do the same
For our war is different, yet so very much the same
We were children, but as men we must put those childish things away
Our words can be so much more then profanity
When we speak, we should always leave it full, never empty
In these days we must stay strong
And for those who have done wrong, doesn’t represent us all

To my young Hmong men
We are much more then gangs and thugs
Always so quick to pull out guns without ever saying a word
…and you wonder why our voices go unheard
Why do we carry this hatred towards our own brothers?
I’ve heard too many stories of bodies sleeping on streets
Where we don’t even go to heaven because our brothers’ soul is with the reaper’s keep
Understand we aren’t strong and admit that we are weak
So when we carry on, we’re all in his heart for him to keep…
But that’s exactly why we’re strong; don’t be afraid to admit your faults
Against the ropes we stand, among all others we’re not the same
Kick up the dust; don’t be afraid to let things hit the fan
We’re together in this like a song without the band

To my Hmong…
We are the change that we seek
It’s not that our goals are too high and we will never meet
But that our goals are too low and it’s already been met
Our fathers told us not to daydream, shook our head, but only pain came
There are brothers and sisters that still reside in those refuge camps so far away
After so long…half way cross the world, we still seek refuge
Sometimes you have to get off the boat to walk on water
So as we look into the sky for brighter days
Know that each rainy day…rainbows are not too far away

Behind the keys: Me and You

well, to start off to disect into my own poem im jus going to quote some parts and go into it from there:

"to be inspired is to let God breathe through you"

from my understanding the word "inspired" means God breathe and it was to describe what happens to those who wrote the bible, that it wasn't them writing what was happening but that it was God who was talking through them and they were writing it down. and that goes into my next quote

"so when I write it's like he took over and written this script for you"

there's something that happens while I write that I dont know how to exactly explain, but i think this line alone pretty much explains it.

"these words that I write is the infection of truth"

i dont even know how i came up with this, it jus came out but i think it's pretty dope haha...

"Effect a youth, cause they are our future and I am the proof"

We grow up saying that we are the future and now it should be our turn to say that to our youth cause as we are making things happens and after us is our youth (to my nieces and nephews)

"assume the worst, the best will be at cost"

well, i believe that we can always get the worst easy like at a "discount" for an example but when it comes to the best we have to work hard for it (at full price) which where's "at cost" comes from

"in these words there must be trust, if not then we are lost"

gotta believe in something, if not then what's there to believe in...that's pretty much what im tryin to say here, there's those people who go around who dont believe in God or whatever religions you may believe but for those who jus refuse to believe in anything, what happened? shit you're lost...

"As children we flew but as we grew our wings were clipped, grounded...we laid as though the moon was only a dream, the stars seem to shine but somewhere in line we lost our way"

when we were kids, we saw the world as a big playground and a place where there was no end but as we got older we forgot that. Im jus trying to make people see that even if they do or dont.

"wish that friend was still here to say "it's okay", shit...it's okay, yeah...thank you Quick I remembered what you said"

I had a friend by the name of Qixing Lee that past away a couple of years ago and during high school he would always pat me on the shoulders saying "it's okay" and i always thought it was annoying and never knew why he did that, but when he pass i always thought about that he knew something back then that only now i realized that "it's okay".

"To hell and back we know that road but to heaven we've lost that track, it's like our hearts is no longer intact"

ive always heard the phrase "ive been to hell and back" but i never heard anyone saying ive been to heaven and back or anything in that sense because well...geting to heaven is a road that often talked but not taken. so that's why i said we have lost that track and it seems we have no hearts because of that.

"with these days they're gone by fast, look at our past...no ones left"

think about it...how many people from your past is really still in your life, not that many and in my case besides family, nobody

and the last line im gon quote "be like the stars in darkness and shine..."